Eat All The Fruitcakes

"The Master stays behind; that is why she is ahead. 
She is detached from all things; that is why she is one with them."
                                                              - Lao Tzu

At your next rehearsal, take a look around the room. Every single person there has invested in you and your vision; their presence is a vote of confidence in you. When you think about the people in that room, who is the person with whom you've spent the least amount of time? Nurturing your relationship with that individual should be one of your top priorities.

Much of the work of a choral director is done off the podium. The planning, preparation and, most importantly, the building of relationships, has to happen before the ensemble is ready to perform in public. And the more you've devoted to each area, the more effective your ensemble will be. We've all experienced choral groups who have sung with each other forever, where the level of personal trust is so high that it's literally palpable to the audience. This kind of ensemble has an effectiveness that a pick-up choir, no matter how stellar, can never match. And a chorus that has absolute trust in its conductor is a much different animal (and, we would argue, a more attractive one) than a professional group working with a guest conductor.

There are no shortcuts to building trust with our choristers. It has to be won through our consistent attention to professionalism, excellence and basic goodness. We also have to work at being impartial, which means treating all of our choristers equally.

That's why socializing as a conductor is work, not play. In a previous post, we discussed the perils of being overly friendly with your choristers. Although a friendship dynamic with choristers may seem innocuous, it invariably leads to the perception that the conductor is "playing favorites". For those of us who lead ensembles of our peers (church choirs, for example), it's important to try and socialize equally with every chorister (if we're going to socialize at all!).

This kind of socializing is "on the clock"- it's socializing in an official capacity. It's a much different game than going to a party and hanging out in the corner all night, talking to your one buddy who you totally vibe with. This is "working the room", "pressing the flesh"- whatever you want to call it. It's not unlike the job of a church pastor, who has to engage every soul in his community, and hopefully expand his flock in the process.

For some of us, this takes real work. Here, then, are some suggestions to help you get started:

1. EAT ALL THE FRUITCAKES - It should go without saying that your presence at the Choir Holiday Party is mandatory. And yes, you must try everyone's fruitcake, and act like it's the greatest thing you've ever tasted. You have to attend functions like these as the conductor - which means you have no opinions of your own, when it comes to food. You like everything! Seconds? Yes, please!

2. DON'T PLAY FAVORITES - While enjoying your twelfth piece of fruitcake with the altos at the kitchen table, don't forget about the sopranos in the dining room. Before too much time has passed, make sure you get up and pay them a visit. They want "face time" with you, too.

3. YOU ARE ALWAYS "ON" - Three days earlier when you're at the grocery store shopping for your fruitcake contribution, make sure you put on a happy face in case you run into someone from your school or congregation. Sure, you may be having a bad day, or perhaps you just came from the gym and are really hoping to avoid being seen- but guess what? Conductors are public figures, which means we have to be "on" whenever we're out in public.

There will always be singers in our ensembles for whom we seem to feel a natural affinity. By the same token, there are likely to be those choristers who present us with more challenges. But remember, every singer in the ensemble has given us a vote of confidence by their very presence. It's our job, then, to set an example by creating a welcoming, inclusive environment for all of our singers.